Lost
by ScottXLoganNetwork
Summary: Despite the current situation with Scott and Logan's separation, Logan can't help, but find himself drawn to a teenage version of Scott.


Chaperoning a dance should've been easy. It should've been nothing more than a headache that Logan endured time and time again. He'd known it was a part of the routine when he'd opened up the Jean Grey School. It was to be expected of him as Professor Logan, but what he hadn't prepared for was Hank's blatant disregard for the consequences of his actions or the fact that a teenage, less jaded, more hopeful, as intoxicatingly tempting Scott Summers would be part of his new life. Months ago he'd walked away from the Scott he'd known—from the man he'd gone crazy over far too often than he'd cared to admit. They had their differences and Logan had been bitter about them. Hell, bitter was an understatement as Logan's eyes scanned the school's atrium watching the students mingle and interact. It should've been a typical day. It should've been part of the daily routine, but there was nothing ordinary or routine about the way Logan's eyes were focused on the far corner of the room—to the boy perched upon the wooden chair looking absolutely miserable while a teenage version of Jean and Hank were slow dancing together to one of the latest love songs.

Even through the laughter and the amusement of the others, the boy's misery revealed itself dominating Logan's every thought, his every instinct as he found himself wanting to walk over and console Scott. Never in his life did he find himself wanting to protect anyone from the kind of pain he was certain would undoubtedly follow. It was ironic really given that Logan had spent more time than he'd cared to admit attempting to woo Jean away from Scott in the past, but that was different. They were two people in very different places in their lives. It was long before their friendship, long before their split, long before Logan found himself lost in an obsession over a young version of the man he was certain he was never meant to care so damned much about.

"Everything alright Logan?" Kitty questioned reaching out to touch his arm gently. Her touch prompted him to turn away from watching Scott long enough to offer her a small smile.

"What do you think?" Logan replied with a gruffness in his voice. His brow creased and a scowl touched over his lips when she shook her head at him.

"You do realize that these events require you to be more sociable given your position within the school," she wrinkled her nose at him, "Sooner or later you're going to have to pretend that you aren't absolutely miserable."

"Who said I'm pretending?" Logan answered turning his attention to Scott again. Only unlike before he was no longer alone. He was surrounded by a few students that he'd known to be trouble in the past. The trio around Scott seemed to be speaking with him, goading him with words that Logan couldn't quite make out. Scott's posture tensed, his face tightening when Logan watched his left palm curl into a fist. In that moment Logan found himself not liking what he was witnessing. It seemed that each word from the group agitated Scott, making him more anxious until a fourth boy stepped forward from the crowd.

"Logan?" Kitty attempted to capture his attention again, but it was no use. His eyes were upon the new arrival that had taken a seat next to Scott. The boy was a newer student, brought in by one of the others as Logan watched him whisper something to Scott. The words seemed surprisingly soothing when Logan continued to watch the exchange. Without the benefit of sound or proximity Logan watched as the new arrival seemed to tend to Scott, to touch his shoulder supportively from behind his youthful appearance. Scott simply nodded and shrugged as Logan watched the boy beside Scott pat his shoulder once again.

"It's good to see someone reaching out to him," Kitty noted following the line of Logan's gaze, "He's been having a rough time adjusting even though he tries to act tough. This has been hard for him."

"I know," Logan nodded exchanging a few more words with Kitty before she went off in search of Bobby, who had been relegated to the duty of watching the punch bowl so that none of the student spiked it. However, given the grin on Bobby's face when Kitty walked away, Logan couldn't help, but wonder if Bobby had been tempted to do the deed himself in an attempt to liven things up.

"Figures," Logan mouthed to himself when he redirected his attention to Scott once again. It seemed that the boy beside Scott in khaki pants and a blue button down shirt had managed to get Scott to open up to him. By his posture alone Scott appeared to have lightened up, to be a bit more relaxed when Logan watched the boy place his hand on Scott's knee. At first glance the movement seemed innocent enough, but upon further scrutiny Logan watched as the boy's fingers squeezed over Scott's inner thigh, pressing into the inseam of his pants in a movement far less innocent. Tensing up Logan noticed the way Scott's head tipped to the side, his lips curving downward for a brief second before the boy beside him nodded to the doors leading out of the atrium. Scott seemed to be contemplating the suggestion, shifting his eyes between the dance floor where Jean and Hank were wrapped up in an embrace and the boy beside him that Logan suddenly deemed a wolf in geek's clothing. In an instant Logan was on alert watching as Scott stood up against his better judgment to follow the boy out of the atrium.

"What are you doing Slim?" Logan frowned stepping forward past a group of students when he noticed the original trio of boys that had surrounded Scott walking out of the atrium as well. Suddenly on edge Logan picked up the pace, making his way out of the atrium in search of the boy that had dominated his thoughts since his arrival. When he moved into the hallway he was surrounded by darkness, but the scent, the overwhelmingly strong, intoxicatingly incredible scent of Scott lingered to the right leading back to the dorm area of the school—back to the bedrooms where students shouldn't be hanging out on a dance night.

"Damn it," Logan cursed under his breath wondering what kind of situation Scott was getting himself into when the sound of grunting and smashing came from the corridor. Rushing forward to investigate Logan rounded the corner only to discover the trio of boys holding onto Scott's arms and the back of his head while the fourth boy delivered a punch to the right side of Scott's face.

"You're going to wish you hadn't come here freak," the fourth boy snarled attempting to strike Scott again when Logan intervened seizing the boy's wrist with a snarl.  
"What the hell is going on here?" Logan ordered with a roar. The sound of his voice called the others to release Scott immediately. Panic carried over their youthful faces as the fourth boy stood taller and met Logan's gaze with defiance.

"We were just taking care of this freak before he could do any more damage to our kind," the boy explained seeking out Logan's approval, "He's a murderer and he needs to be held accountable for his actions."

"No! He doesn't, but the four of you…" Logan snapped back at them with a low growl.

"It's fine," Scott spoke up in a neutral voice, "Nothing happened."

"Scott," Logan frowned seeing Scott stepping forward away from the trio of boys that had been restraining him moments earlier.

"I'm fine Logan," Scott answered dismissively before walking away and leaving Logan with the four unruly students.

"See, he's fine," the boy who punched Scott spoke up once again.

"But you aren't going to be," Logan glared at the four boys, "because you're all going to be in detention this week starting now."

"But…" one of the boys protested when Kitty arrived and intervened. After she helped Logan get things sorted out, Logan redirected his attention to Scott's scent following it out into the gardens where he found the boy perched upon a marble bench in the midst of the rose bushes.

"I could've held my own Logan," Scott's voice rose up through the moonlight to alert Logan to the fact that Scott was aware of his presence in the gardens, "I knew what they were planning."

"Then why did you go with them?" Logan frowned moving in beside Scott.

"Maybe I just needed to blow off some steam," Scott divulged raising his chin up defiantly to glare at Logan through his ruby colored glasses, "Maybe I just needed a moment to deal with the things that I've been feeling…"

"By letting them kick your ass," Logan frowned taking a seat beside the boy on the bench.

"They weren't kicking my ass," Scott rolled his shoulders back dismissively.

"He got one hell of a punch in," Logan reminded him with a worried expression on his face.

"Only because I wasn't fighting back," Scott insisted dismissively. He looked out into the gardens again and fell to silence.

"Scott," Logan opened his mouth to say something more when he found himself at a loss.

"Don't," Scott warned in a quiet whisper that Logan was certain no one else would've heard, "I don't need this right now Logan."

"Scott, you shouldn't be torturing yourself because of Jeanie," Logan began sympathetically.

"You think this is just because of Jean?" Scott questioned incredulously.

"Isn't it?" Logan arched a speculative brow.

"How could I possibly blame her for wanting to be with Hank now after I ruined her life?" Scott let out a long sigh before focusing on the rose bushes once again, "She's dead because of me. What reason would she want to love me in knowing that?"

"It's not because of you," Logan offered up sympathetically, "There were a lot of things that…"

"I killed Charles. All of my friends and teammates hate me," Scott explained refusing to look over at Logan again, "I married Jean and broke her before she died. I cheated on her with…"

"Hey," Logan cut him off abruptly, "don't go there. There were extenuating circumstances that…"

"I'm a terrible person Logan," Scott finally tipped his head to the side to face him, "Everyone around here keeps telling me that, so really, what reason do I have to keep pretending that I don't ruin everything? Even though I'm trying to fix the man I've become I feel like it's all going to end up the same way. I'm still going to be deemed a monster and…"

"There's nothing wrong with the man that you are," Logan divulged reaching out to touch Scott's cheek gently. He watched the way Scott's lower lip shivered with an exhale before he sat up straighter.

"You're the last person who should be telling me that," Scott pulled away from Logan's touch, "I know what you think of me Logan."

"No," Logan reached out to place his hand over Scott's, "you don't Scott. You have no idea what I think about you because I'm fairly certain if you did you'd never doubt how special I think you are."

"You don't mean that," Scott replied focusing on Logan once again.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," Logan confessed finding himself overwhelmed by the scent of Scott's grief as he wrapped his fingers around Scott's palm, "I hate seeing you hurt like this Slim. This is never what I wanted."

"That's not what everyone else is saying," Scott replied looking down to Logan's hand over his.

"Everyone else isn't here, are they?" Logan arched a speculative brow when Scott leaned in closer to him.

"No," Scott's chin lowered indicating that his line of vision behind his glasses had shifted to Logan's lips, "I suppose they aren't."

"Slim, I realize that you're going through a tough time right now and that I ain't been any good at helping you through it, but…" Logan attempted to apologize when he felt Scott slide in closer to him on the bench. Before he could get out the sentiment that he'd been holding on inside of him, he felt Scott's fingers upon his face, brushing over his facial hair when Scott arched up towards him effortlessly. Before Logan could think or react, he felt the warmth of Scott's breath upon his face.

"I appreciate your trying to help me, but I can hold my own," Scott murmured inching in closer to Logan until their lips were a mere breath apart from one another, "I'm not helpless."

"I never said you were Slim," Logan remarked opening his mouth to say something more, anything to stop the sudden pounding in his heart and the lust that coiled over his body when Scott's long, thin fingers pressed into his jean clad thigh.

"Why couldn't you have rescued me before I wound up destroying everything?" Scott sighed pulling back ever so slightly when Logan placed his hand over Scott's.

"You haven't ruined anything, but maybe me Slim," Logan divulged bridging the distance between them to bring their lips together in a gradual tease. At first Logan questioned his judgment, wondering if he'd lost his mind in allowing his lust to get the best of him, but before he knew it, Scott was responding to the kiss, sliding his tongue between Logan's parted lips and giving almost as good as he'd gotten in his youthful inexperience. The taste was familiar, yet different as Logan found himself remembering the times he'd kissed Scott in the past. Their time together had been brutal, intense and anything, but sweet when they'd been together, yet with Scott's soft, lush lips over his, kissing Logan as if everything in the moment depended on it, Logan had found himself wanting to savor the moment, to keep holding onto it for as long as possible.

"Logan," Scott murmured when Logan reached out to curl his arm around Scott's waist. He pulled Scott in against his chest long enough for Scott to reposition himself on the bench. In the blink of an eye Scott was somehow on his lap with arms wrapped around Logan's shoulders. Their kisses continued, going beyond anything that could ever be deemed acceptable as Scott shifted above Logan, grinding into his lap with less than innocent intentions.

"Scott," Logan pulled back searching Scott's flushed features when he finally felt an inkling of sensibility upon him, "we can't do this."

"We already have," Scott brushed his fingertips against the side of Logan's face, "Everyone's told me that much. I know we had something together."

"Not like this," Logan confessed instinctively leaning into the warmth of Scott's fingers on his skin, "Not this way."

"That doesn't mean we can't work on changing it," Scott leaned in for another kiss only to have Logan turn his head away, "Logan?"

"Scott, what we do in the future isn't what's supposed to be happening now," Logan replied pained expression, "You're too young and…"

"I'm not too young," Scott grumbled in frustration, "Given what I've seen about this time it seems that I'm rather behind on things considering that…"

"This won't stop the pain you're feeling in losing Jeanie," Logan forced himself to meet Scott's eyes through his glasses, "Doing this won't…"

"This isn't about Jean," Scott argued with him, "This is about me and you—about what we both know has been happening between us. Yes, I might be a younger version of myself, but that doesn't make what I'm feeling any less valid. It doesn't make these things I'm thinking any less vivid or appealing. Logan, there's something about you that I can't shake. Hell, I don't want to."

"It's because you're confused," Logan attempted to dismiss Scott's words when Scott pushed his fingers into Logan's hair.

"No," Scott let out an ironic laugh, "for the first time since I've been here this is the one thing that I'm not confused about. I'm honestly very attracted to you Logan and from everything I've heard and seen I know you have those same thoughts about me."

"Not as you are," Logan attempted to explain.

"That's not true," Scott appealed to him once more, "You can't tell me you haven't wondered what it would've been like if I'd have met you first. If it hadn't been Jean, then maybe you and I would have…"

"Scott, what you're entering into is something dangerous. It's something that we could never take back," Logan spoke up with sudden seriousness, "Whether we are attracted to one another or not doesn't make what you're thinking right considering that…"

"When the hell have you ever indulged the idea of being right?" Scott curled his lip in protest, "From what I understand you're the one person who had deemed the rules meant to be broken."

"Not about this. Not about…" Logan opened his mouth to say something more when Scott moved in for another kiss. This time he was clumsier, more impulsive in his approach when Logan felt himself sliding across the marble bench. In an instant he'd found himself on the ground with Scott laying over him kissing him with the same kind of intensity they'd found with one another in the Danger Room. Time and time again he'd embraced the notions of having Scott in his life again, wanting it more than anything, but with a much younger version of the man he'd been obsessed with over him, grinding up against him and offering him anything he could ever desire, he found himself struggling with conscience.

"Scott," Logan murmured in between kisses when suddenly he found himself on top of Scott pinning him down to the ground with the last ounce of restraint inside of him, "I can't do this. I can't be the first person to…"

"I'm a quick study," Scott encouraged bringing his leg around Logan's thick, muscular thigh, "If you're worried about my not being able to make things pleasurable for you, I've been reading up on…"

"Would you listen to yourself?" Logan questioned practically choking on his words, "Scott, this isn't like you."

"Maybe I don't want to be like me," Scott pouted falling to the ground beneath Logan again, "Maybe I'm trying to be something better than I am."

"You're already the best in my eyes Scott," Logan sighed pressing his forehead in against Scott's, "You don't have to change that."

"I killed the man who gave me a second chance in life Logan. My friends hate me," Scott choked up on his words, "What else do I have left in my life?"

"Me," Logan promised rolling off of Scott and lying down on the ground beside him. Wordlessly he reached for Scott, who was struggling to keep from revealing the tears that threatened to overtake him. Silently Logan pulled Scott in over his chest, gently massaging the lines of his long, lean spine when they stayed together underneath the stars. Squeezing his arm tighter around Scott he simply held the younger man thinking about all the mistakes they'd made with one another through the years.

"I just feel so broken Logan," Scott finally broke the silence between them when he snuggled into that place on Logan's chest that he'd often found his way to time and time again once they'd succumbed to passion in the past. This time, however, it felt special, more than what they'd ever allowed themselves to be with Scott's adult counterpart. Overtaken by a wave of sentimentality Logan pressed a kiss over the top of Scott's head before smoothing his fingers out across Scott's hip.

"You aren't broken Scott," Logan promised quietly, "just in transition. That's all. You'll be back to your old life soon enough."

"That's just it Logan," Scott confessed raising his head up to look at him once again, "I'm not sure that I want to go back to that life anymore—not after coming here and meeting you. I'm almost afraid that…"

"Don't be afraid Slim," Logan stroked the side of Scott's face before coaxing Scott to slide in over his chest again, "Everything will work itself out. I promise you that."

And for a moment Logan found himself believing it. With the teenage version of his former lover wrapped up in his arms, he'd found himself wanting more than anything to find a way to bring peace and tranquility to the world of violence and chaos that surrounded them.

Actions 


End file.
